Explaining to kids where babies come from - 70's style

If you are unsure about what to say when your children ask you where babies come from ... try the 70s style "tell it like it is" comic series that is currently doing the rounds as a viral email. The images (I believe) were taken from a popular book published in the 70s which parents could use to explain the facts of life to their children. I haven't seen any recent books that are trying to do the same but surely the original work is a land mark in publishing and education!
Have a look:

But wait ... it gets better ... (if you are offended by explicit comic sex ... don't click on "read more")

I dream of suction cups

72 hours.

I can do a lot in 72 hours. I can read three books. I can watch the entire 30 Rock catalog twice with no commercials. I can travel to Europe and back five times, maybe even six. Yet, that’s how long it took my now two week old son to travel from uterus to the outside world. Amy was exhausted. Hell, I was exhausted, but she hadn’t eaten anything for over 24 of those hours, not to mention the um…labor: Painful, sporadic, and frustrating. Mix in a few smiles, some tears, and some awkwardly tense moments and that’s the birth experience in a nutshell. I’m not saying there wasn’t any beauty in it. There was. The process as a whole, despite being messy, gross and erratically frantic is still…well, no, it’s not beautiful, but it is one of those moments I won’t forget. It will forever be one of those moments Amy and I will look back on, injecting fondness for nostalgia’s sake into an otherwise draining and horrifying three days.

Outcome: We have a rather surprisingly beautiful baby boy. That’s the beauty of it. Mission accomplished.

Supporting your partner during THE birth - what the heck is that supposed to mean?

Our first child was a fortnight late and when he finally made an appearance he was ugly - I mean like one of the bad guys out of Peter Jackson's imagination. Grey and wizened with hands like talons. I obligingly pointed this out to the assembled maternity staff. "Oh you poor, ugly little bugger," I believe were my words. Next thing you know I was clubbed to the ground by a clutch of midwives and nurses who all had black belts in frowning.

Duncan's Story: A Homebirth

The following story is re-published on DIYFather.com with kind permission from www.homebirth.org.nz.

It all started for me some three and a half years ago at an antenatal class - a bunch of expectant first time parents sitting there with a group of strangers wondering, "What the hell am I doing here?" Midwives! Bring on the doctors, the machinery, the drugs and the other wonders of modern science. But there I was, dragged along by my wife's excitement, listening to what I thought at the time was the "hippy" section of the medical profession, subscribing natures way and homeopathic remedies for childbirth. These, I thought, were the people probably not good enough to get a job at the hospitals - HOW WRONG I WAS!

In hindsight, women have been giving birth for quite a few years now and why I thought giving birth in a hospital would be better I have no idea.

Top 10 Things not to say after your partner has had a baby

1. Are you sure it's mine it doesn't look like it?

2. She is so cute can we have another?

3. When is your tummy going to go down, is there still a bubby in there?

4. Your boobs are big can I touch them?

5. When can we have sex?

6. Can you feed her tonight I'll do her next one in the morning!

7. When can we go away just the two of us?

8. I'm going out with the boys for a drink on Friday – I won't be late!

9. What's for tea?

10. Things around the house are sliding aren't they?

-Scott

iPhone Apps During Labour

There’s nothing more boring than a moaning woman in labour, but what if you could play on your iPhone throughout the whole ordeal without any recriminations whatsoever? Step forward the contraction timer app.

I’ve been able to find 17 applications that are specifically designed to monitor the duration and frequency of your wife’s screaming while she is making a right meal of childbirth:

• Baby’s Coming (free) – Dadgets.info top choice
• Contraculate (free)
• Contractulator (free)

Father Again

7th April 2008, at 11:31am by Caesarean Section (due to baby wanting to come out feet first) weighing in at 6lb 12oz. Ava Grace Mooij made DIYFathers' Eric a father again.

At 3am Andrea knew something was going to happen, but she didn't wake me... at 6 when I left for work, she said to leave my phone on and keep it near me, the baby might be coming early (due date 16th April).

So I did, keep my phone on and close to me.

09:48 I got a call, Andrea didn't need to say anything, I answered the phone with "Are you at the hospital?” "No but I'm on my way" was Andrea's reply.

10:18 I arrived at the hospital, to catch Andrea and the midwife just walking in to the hospital...perfect timing.

Forgive me if I’m a little scattered. I didn’t sleep very much last night...

Yesterday Encarna came to the hospital to hold the baby so April could take a nap and I could walk home to pick up a few things. I didn't have much time at home, maybe thirty minutes, but I did grab a few DVDs off the shelf next to the TV. Even though we had been in the hospital for a day already, apparently I wasn't willing to give up the idea in my head that staying at the hospital after delivery is like staying home from work with a cold. Yes, you don't feel well, but really all you have to do is rest and get better. Eat, drink, lie around watching movies, and if you get really bored, find somebody to order around.

I guess I mean to say that I imagined that when all the drama of the delivery was said and done, the curtain would metaphorically close, and we would be left alone in our hospital room, our little nest, to get to know each other and be a family.

Alleke's Birth Story (Part II)

This post is the second one in a set of two. To read Alleke's birth story from the beginning, click here.

The next thing I knew another nurse came and loaded up my bed for transfer. We rolled down the hallway, and he tried to make small talk with us as I moaned and made loud noises through each contraction (I think the noises I had been making since my water broke were what scared Kelly the most). By now I definitely felt like pushing, but realized it wasn't the time. Off the elevator, Kelly was pulled aside to put scrubs on, and a midwife walked up and grabbed my hand. She was in process of asking me if it was my first baby when she glanced up and yelled, "Oh, April!". It was Carmen, our midwife from prenatal classes. I'm not sure who was more happy that she was on duty - me or her.

Alleke's Birth Story (Part I of II)

As a writer, I love a good story, and I couldn't think of a better gift for my little girl than her mom telling the story of how she was born in her own words. So, without further adieu, here's April...

On October 2, we had our regular prenatal classes that evening. After doing our normal stretches and meditation, Carmen, the midwife told me and the other woman who was at 38 weeks that it was time to practice pushing. Knowing that our baby girl was due in two days, I figured it was a good idea. After class, we talked with Carmen rehearsing all the things we needed to do if I went into labour. She mentioned to Kelly that she was going to be on-duty in the hospital on Tuesday night and Thursday morning, so if we wanted her to be there, try to plan accordingly.