A Dad’s Point-of-View - Diversity is a Nine Letter Word

Diversity is a nine-letter word; so is parenting. ShortRib (my wife) and I met a wonderful couple on our recent honeymoon that, at first, we thought and they thought represented the most diversity in a couple any of us knew. In fact, they were written up as just such a phenomenon in a local paper in their hometown. David is a 55-year-old, liberal, white Jewish lawyer, while Farah is a 40-year-old, conservative, black Christian, non-profit worker. Key thing about them; no kids, by their mutual choice. However, they’ve been married 10 years and, on the surface, have one of the best rapports between couples we observed on the entire cruise and safari, where we encountered quite a large mix of couples.

A dad's point of view - am I a selfish parent?

It’s high time I wrote a column that stirs some reaction, creates some controversy, and isn’t so sweet and nice. No gratitude for surviving what should have been a deadly car crash, no treatises on the values of volunteering, or even about the importance of spending more quantity time with your kids. After all, this is a man’s point-of-view, not some touchy-feely new age guru. Look at the magazine rack at your local bookstore. The women’s section is literally full, while the men’s section mostly consists of magazines about cars, motorcycles, or supermen who climb ridiculously high mountains without oxygen. We won’t even talk about daytime television where Oprah and Ellen dominate. I don’t count Dr. Phil, for obvious reasons.

A Dads Point of View - STEPPIN'

The ‘50s ideal of the nuclear family is clearly a thing of the past as most statistics readily confirm. Divorce is rampant and the definition of family is undergoing constant scrutiny and redefinition. For my family, we’ve been dealing with a new Step-Mom, as I just got married, this past December 27 (2008). My new wife might argue that she is going through the greatest adjustment, while my boys and I might argue otherwise. I’ll let you be the judge, but first I want to officially introduce my family members, not by name, but by nickname.

A dad's point of view - lessons of a big brother and mentor

One of the clichés about volunteerism is the fact that you often get more than you give. In my case, it was in ways and means I least expected. I’ve just become a Big Brother, again, to a 7-year-old boy and a Mentor to a 22-year-old young man. As these relationships are new, I don’t yet know what lessons I will learn. But, I know well the lessons I learned the first time around.

I became a Big Brother, long before I was married or a parent. My life, at that time, was pretty heady. In my early 30’s, I had a successful showbiz career in which I was paid way too much for having so much fun, I lived in a lovely home in a chic part of town, had two cars, and no one to worry about other than myself.

A dad's point of view - what will I leave my boys?

The recent death of Steve Jobs was yet another stark reminder of the fragility of life. No matter how rich or famous you are, the grim reaper does not care. While I won’t admit how close in age Jobs and I are, I will admit that I fully recognize that my life could end any moment, though I pray it doesn’t. There is still too much to do, see, and too much work left to do.

But, as we never know, I’d like to leave some takeaways for my boys. Some call this sort of thing, “a living will.” Why do we only leave our loved ones our money and our things? Why not leave them something much more precious: our beliefs and whatever wisdom we may have learned on our journey of life?

So, herewith, are my takeaways for my two boys, who are now 15 and 18. They are full of life, full of promise, full of hormones and teenage cockiness. I hope I’m around to watch their journey, but just in case…

Tikkun Olam – Repair the World

A dad's point of view - value, money, our kids and the real world

There is a reason that money is on that short list of things that couples argue about most. What are the other things? Sex, and the kids, of course. With the state of our worldwide economy being in such flux, money is a more pressing issue for couples and families than any other time in my life. Financial literacy for our kids and for us parents is more important than ever before!

As a baby-boomer, it's my unequivocal opinion that the only good thing 'My Generation' produced was some pretty terrific music. I blame our generation for the deterioration of the family unit; the decline in actual honest discourse at our campuses, and raising the most spoiled generation of children in human history. Oh, we're also responsible for tearing down many pillars of society, ruining the planet through resource overuse and creating a generation of over-30-year-olds who have never grown up and still behave like toddlers in tantrums during meetings at work.

Threats to Our Lifestyle

A dad's point of view - how to stay cool

You want your kids to relate to you, right? You want to be cool, don't you? Maybe you should try to relate to them? Novel idea. Do you remember all the DUMB things your parents liked and did? Do you really think you’re any different?

Every kid swears he or she will be a better parent than his or her own parents. And, as a kid, we know exactly what we’ll do better plus: we’ll be cool! We’ll like the same music as our kids. We’ll not get crazy about a tattoo or little ol’ piercing like our parents did!

BUT, most of us turn into our own parents, whether we like it or not. These are some tips that might bring back that cool kid you used to be. Warning: Follow these tips at your own peril!

Txt

A dad's point of view - my little boy is going to college

I hate clichés. I love clichés. I just find it weird when I feel as if my whole life is one big cliché! Being a parent means you will undoubtedly experience any number of them. Here’s an arbitrary list of parenting clichés. Be honest, how many have you used?

• Like father, like son
  
• The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree
  
• There are starving children in Africa
  
• Money doesn't grow on trees
  
• I’ll start treating you like an adult when you start acting like one
  
• When you have children of your own, you'll understand
  
• If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times
  
• Because I said so!
  
• Wait until your father (or mother) gets home
  
• When I was your age
  
• If God had wanted you to have holes in your ears (eyebrows, tongue, etc.) He would have put them there!
  
• Life isn't fair (this one is universal to parents and kids)
  
• When I was your age, I had to walk ten miles through the snow, uphill, by myself, to go to school

A dad's point of view - politically correct lies

When I began my writing career, and then my radio show, I promised myself I’d avoid politics. I’m breaking that promise via this first column of 2012, though it is not exclusively political. I’m old enough to remember when people spoke the truth, even if it was uncomfortable. Political correctness has comprised that value in my opinion. And, one of my strong beliefs as a parent is we must speak, live, and model the truth for our children. With political correctness, that often means going contrary to what they might be taught at school.

I grew up in the sixties and attended Vietnam War protests and probably even wore a Make Love Not War button. I’ve grown up since then and I will publicly admit I’m conservative leaning when it comes to fiscal issues and middle-of-the-road when it comes to the personal ones. Basically, I would like our government and educational institutions to stay out of our homes and take care of the bigger issues like self-defense and a balanced budget.

A dad's point of view - no new year resolutions

For the past few years, I’ve written a New Year’s resolutions column. One year it was pretty straightforward while another year I scored the previous year’s resolutions using baseball terms and statistics. But, the reality is that I feel about New Year’s resolutions a little bit like I feel about New Year’s Eve. It’s a big nothing and usually a waste of money!

The best New Year’s Eves I’ve ever had have been with my wife, alone at home, a great movie or two to watch, and a good bottle of champagne to share after we’d made and eaten a wonderful meal together. One New Year’s Eve, when my first-born son was just 13 months old, we sat down to watch a movie, happily full from the meal we had just consumed. This was when I was married, to my first wife: the mother of my two boys.