Lazy Dadurday

"What do you guys want for breakfast?" I ask my three pajama-wearing kids flopped sleepily over two couches on a promising Saturday morning. They’re with me every Saturday morning as part of a divorce agreement. We call it "Lazy Dadurday." And lazy it is. We wake up late, then trek to the bookstore, the pet store, the mall, or the pool, and just let it all hang out.

"What is there?" the kids ask absent-mindedly.

My children have faced the same breakfast choices since they were old enough to chew: frozen waffles, cereal, and toast. No more and no less. It's their version of death and taxes. Nonetheless, the sweetly inquisitive response — what is there? — is always the same.

It's as if they'd been replaced overnight with benevolent alien imposters who'd carefully studied everything about us but our breakfast rituals.

The Trouble With Women

Who would have thought that the story of how fathers managed to get into delivery suites is documented in a book called “The Trouble With Women”. The book is the story of NZ’s Parent Centres put together by Mary Dobbie. As a dad who recently had the opportunity to exercise the right to be present during my son’s birth I am grateful for the numerous people who fought bureaucracy and ignorance so that fathers could be present during labour. No doubt this story is replicated the world over with many unsung heroes paving the way. In Wellington where I live, it wasn’t until 1972 that fathers were finally allowed in the delivery suites.

A Dads Point of View - STEPPIN'

The ‘50s ideal of the nuclear family is clearly a thing of the past as most statistics readily confirm. Divorce is rampant and the definition of family is undergoing constant scrutiny and redefinition. For my family, we’ve been dealing with a new Step-Mom, as I just got married, this past December 27 (2008). My new wife might argue that she is going through the greatest adjustment, while my boys and I might argue otherwise. I’ll let you be the judge, but first I want to officially introduce my family members, not by name, but by nickname.

A dad's point of view - lessons of a big brother and mentor

One of the clichés about volunteerism is the fact that you often get more than you give. In my case, it was in ways and means I least expected. I’ve just become a Big Brother, again, to a 7-year-old boy and a Mentor to a 22-year-old young man. As these relationships are new, I don’t yet know what lessons I will learn. But, I know well the lessons I learned the first time around.

I became a Big Brother, long before I was married or a parent. My life, at that time, was pretty heady. In my early 30’s, I had a successful showbiz career in which I was paid way too much for having so much fun, I lived in a lovely home in a chic part of town, had two cars, and no one to worry about other than myself.

Mother’s Day and the Women in Our Lives

As Mother’s Day rolls around once again, I find myself reflecting this year on the different obligations we feel towards those mothers in our lives, at different times and passages in our lives. As this is the second Mother’s Day since my own mother died, I can’t help but remember her with the fondest recollections, avoiding the sad, last, and declining years of her life when a stroke took away her sparkle and delightful personality.

Tattoos, Rap and Saggy Pants

The journey from child, to teen, to young adult to parent seems to have similar stops along the way for most everyone. My college years were during the "age of stupidity," as a man I greatly respect refers to the ‘60s and early ‘70s. As a love-child and soon-to-be yuppie, I was thoroughly convinced that I would be a different parent to any children I might have than my parents were to me.

Strange habits and bread crusts

Over the past few weeks I have noticed how our little man started leaving bread crusts behind on his plate. At first I didn’t take much notice but after a while a realized that he does it on purpose (and not because he can’t bite it or isn’t hungry any more). It struck me as odd that he would this though since nobody in our house leaves bread crusts behind or cuts them off. Well – it took as a while to find out what was behind this new habit.

Call me a pedantic but for me there's something fundamentally wrong with not eating bread crusts (or even worse: cutting them off on purpose like some people do). It's like wasting food and the crust is a perfectly good part of the bread that can be eaten just like anything else. Especially when it's actually the healthiest part of a slice of bread (see research article here).

Lest we forget

Today is ANZAC (Australia and New Zealand Army Corps) Day, the anniversary of the first day of the Gallipoli campaign, it is a reminder of a very important episode in New Zealand's history.

A campaign during the First World War that as far as military campaigns go was a tragic and very costly loss to both Australia and New Zealand, ANZAC Day is certainly not about victory but about the bravery and ultimate sacrifice these young men gave to their king, country and each other. Read more...

What inspired me to post ANZAC Day today was a letter that was featured during the day.

The letter is from a British soldier who came across the torn backpack of a dead Australian soldier. Lying there amongst all the horror and destruction are two pale-blue baby shoes and a woman's silk gloves - obviously the dead young man's most treasured possessions.

Talking to kids about accidents and disability

I came across this clip on youtube ... vintage Sesame Street and I just thought: what a great way to approach a potentially difficult subject and just chat about wheelchairs, handicaps and accidents.

-Stef

Meeting My Father – Part 2

(Part 2 of a father’s journey to meet his own Dad for the first time. For Part 1, click here)

Before I go any further, I need to mention my Mum's parents who raised me after Mum died. Once I was in their care, I could not have had a better upbringing. Nan has gone now too and my father figure growing up was my Granddad. A finer gentleman does not exist. My father in law is also a welcome and very strong influence in my life. I am very lucky.