Post a question: Support agencies/programs to gain custody?

Colleen has sent the following question to DIYFather.com:

My husband and I have been trying to gain custody of his special needs son and we have run out of money and do not have the credit to loan ... Is there any programs/agencies that will help?

Colleen, Grabill, IN

Dads at Christmas Miss Out

I came across this article which is a reality for a lot of fathers who don't have access to their children. Access is an issue for many fathers including celebrity dads like Sir Bob Geldof. It's particularly relevant at this time of year when absence is felt a lot more. The article is a good reminder of the important of the relationship between father and child, but also father and mother.

- Scott

Families across Britain are spending quality time over the holidays, except for the many fathers who aren’t, because the courts or their former partners won’t allow them access to their children.

In the vast majority of cases here, mothers receive residence, regardless of how involved the father was the children’s lives before the parents separated.

Dads who live apart

Sometimes work results in fathers being away from their children for periods of time, They may be doing shift work, travelling a lot or working contracts away from home, even overseas. For some fathers the relationship breakdown has resulted in them moving out of the family home and sometimes even living in a different town.

Children still need a positive, supportive and loving relationship with both of the parents.

If dads live away or are separated from children a lot, you will need to work hard at providing them with the love and support that they need. Avoid regrets which can come later in life if you simply drift apart.

Even when the children are not with you, you can still keep in contact in all sorts of ways –

1. Talk to them regularly by phone

2. Send them postcards and letters addressed to them

3. Send them photos of you wherever you are

4. Send a little gift or other surprise

5. Ask for photos of them

Gaining access

My children were removed from my care when my youngest was just a baby; it was 10 months before I could see my 3 young children. For me gaining access wasn't automatic I had to earn it and push for it, I didn't get much, 1 1/2 hours every fortnight which was then reduced to once a month because it was difficult for the children's mother to keep bringing the children to the centre.

I kept asking "when can I see my children?" and "what do I need to do now?" and I kept it up, never giving up, and my reward was the same 1 1/2 hours with my children once a month for 5 years. The best 1 1/2 hours of my month, I looked forward to it every time, I thought nothing of the time in between, it was time I needed to do what ever was needed for me to do to move forward and to show I was not going to walk away from my children.