Playbook - Your Fatherhood Gameplan

10 Ways to be an All Pro Dad

1. Love Your Wife
True love is not a feeling. It is a decision. It’s an act of the will to be patient, kind, humble, hopeful, giving, faithful and trusting. When you commit to loving your wife this way, your feelings for her and hers for you will follow. Actively loving your wife will radically strengthen your marriage and will also be incredibly beneficial to your children. The number one source of security for kids is to know that their dad loves their mother and is steadfastly committed to her well-being.

2. Spend time with your children

Cheers to great Fathers!

Over the New Years break I have meet up with a few fathers that have reminded me of why I am involved with DIYFather.

I had a great conversation with a Father who will be a Stay at Home for 6 months of the year, an older father who has a young child and his priorities are with his family he is rough around the edges a mans-man however he is passionate about his life as a father.
I would like to acknowledge this father and all fathers like him for setting themselves up to be able to take the time off for their families.

Another father I spoke to, like myself does not have his children and he finds it hard and unfulfilled as a father. Christmas is a tough time for Fathers that don’t have their children it can be a deeply lonely time for some fathers, as it was for this father.

White Ribbon Day - 25th November

White Ribbon Day, 25 November, is the international day when people wear a white ribbon to show that they do not condone men's violence towards women.
It was started by a men's movement in Canada in 1991 and has been officially adopted by the United Nations as its International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women. www.whiteribbon.com
New Zealand has a high rate of men's violence towards women. In 2004 there were just over 3,100 convictions recorded against men for assaults on a woman and a 2001 national victims of crime study showed that close to one in five women experienced sexual assault or sexual interference at some point in their lives. you can read more on www.whiteribbon.org.nz

A Post from the Police National Family Violence Co-ordinator

I have been asked by Scott to write an article for this site as the Police National Family Violence Co-ordinator. So thanks for the opportunity Scott.

Firstly I think it is useful to understand the Police approach. In the not too distant past, Police replicated societal attitudes towards family violence. In practice terms, this meant we also carried the view of " a man's home is his castle" and that family violence was a "private matter".

Thankfully, society and the Police have moved well past these attitudes and our practice in attending family violence events has improved accordingly. That is not to say that we cannot improve further, as we know we can and will.

Dads & Daughters Part 2 - Article

Being a father I find it easy to relate to my daughter because I haven't had a son before and enjoy being in the company of women in general! For my little lady, I hope I can be "special, strong, reliable and trusted male in her life"

What "we as fathers" can do is the following:

* Take an interest in her life, making sure I know the names of friends, interests etc

* Play sport with her and being physically active with her

* Don't be too protective of her – this is something that is going to be hard – she is my little princess and I need to protect her from the world. I can hear the song "Macho Macho Man, Who wants to be a Macho Man??" hmm ...

* If you have a son don't place more restrictions on her because of this.

* Being available for one-to-one conversations. Be the listener and not the talker.

* Do things together. Go to her sports events and other such activities

* Drive her to school etc

Male postnatal depression

Intrigued by a comment from a blog reader I started looking into male postnatal depression. According to research papers published in the Australian and New Zealand Journal of Psychiatry this is common in about 10-15% of new dads (about the same % as in women). I had no idea this even existed ... I was happy as can be when I became a dad. However it seems this is a real problem for 1 in 10 dads out there, so I found out some more on this.

Postnatal depression amongst women is usually classified as a "hormonal element" which is obviously different for men. The depression experienced by dads is usually related to realising the enormity of the change along with the responsibility and a feeling of having to deal with this alone as "mum" is now focussed on the child. Changes in the nature of the sexual relationship with partners is also a contributing factor.