Dealing with your daughter’s first boyfriend – The nightmare begins

Submitted by community on Thu, 07/08/2008 - 12:20am.

Oh those dreaded teenage years. As parents you may experience anxious feelings about the coming years when your children will grow up to be young teens. Those temper storms, stubborn behavior, changes in ways of thinking and so many new and difficult situations to deal with. And above all, you know deep within there will come a day when your daughter will start going out with a boy.

As a parent, acknowledge that everyone does start dating at some point. Don’t forget your past years as a teenager and youth. Dating is both a normal and good activity. Your daughter needs to learn from experience, and it is through dating that she will build up skills on negotiation, sharing and receiving. She will experience hurt, joy and shock, which are all necessary for her to grow up as a mature woman and will be useful in making decisions when it comes to finding a suitable life partner. But we are not telling you to be silent and let your daughter do as she wishes. Prepare her for the rocky road of dating. Make your daughter a smart dater.

Maybe your daughter told you about her boyfriend, or you found out from an out side source. Whichever it is, don’t panic! The only thing that would result in you loosing your temper is that you would not be able to maintain a good relationship with your daughter and learn more about the situation. Also understand that your daughter won’t stop her relationship easily, just because you tell her to. Acknowledge the fact that though she is your daughter it doesn’t necessarily mean she is or has to be like you. Just because you didn’t have a boyfriend till you went to college, it doesn’t mean your daughter will too.

Be flexible. Don’t set out rules too strictly as it is only you who will get hurt by getting angry and sad that she betrayed your trust. Give your honest opinion about the guy, but don’t force your daughter to take your side. Express your picture of an ideal guy, his qualities, activities and behaviors. Let her express her views. Leave her to make a decision.

Be tech savvy to find out more details about the guy. Remember that anyone out there, especially teens may have a face book, hi5, or some online community profile. You can find out lot of details about his activities, interests and background and protect your daughter from potential dangers.

Talk about sex. Sex education is not meant to encourage sex, but knowledge is better than leaving your daughter in the dark, which is very dangerous as she can blindly fall in trouble and end up in an irreversible situation such as an unwanted pregnancy or even worse, with a STD.
The more closer you are to your daughter, the more open they will be with you! So face your daughters growing up process with an open mind, and ensure a better relationship with your teenage child.

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