Life Can be Tough!

Earlier this year a teacher passed this story through to me. I believe it gives all of us an important message.

A little boy came upon a butterfly struggling to emerge from a chrysalis. He helped it to emerge by gently pulling the chrysalis apart. When the butterfly tried to fly, it fell to the ground and died. The strength it needed to develop to emerge from the chrysalis was the same strength it needed to fly. The boy trying to help had inadvertently made the butterfly helpless. Sometimes we need to struggle to build up our strength to grow and develop so we can cope with what life will throw at us.

This story has some parallels with raising children. It continues a theme I have talked about before—that is ‘learned helplessness’. In our desire to be good parents and/or teachers we can step in too much and prop up children. We have to allow our children to make mistakes because from these mistakes comes a learning opportunity. Recently well known author, Lloyd Jones spoke to our Year 8 boys and passed on a similar message. He said, “If you are not making mistakes, you are not trying hard enough!”>

Life can be tough and if we help our children to help themselves, then we are doing them a big favour. The hard thing is to know when to step in and when to insist on more effort. Praise is so important too! Praise for trying and doing one’s personal best. It is destructive to praise mediocrity.

The following message was recently passed on to me by Eve, my wife and Wellesley’s art teacher. It’s a valuable message for not only children but for adults as well.

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says, I’ll try again tomorrow.”

Warren Owen
Principal
Wellesley College
Days Bay
Wellington

(Y1-8 Independent Primary School for Boys)