Obstetric Specialist

Dear New Zealand DIYFather-to-be:

Many women go into pregnancy with one or more medical issues that have nothing to do with pregnancy. This might be true in your family. During pregnancy there are some medical conditions that require obstetrical care whether they were present prior to pregnancy or developed. This may be true for your family. Some health issues during pregnancy might have to do with your baby’s wellbeing while its pregnant mother is healthy. This might be true in your family.

Your family might require specialist care yet you’ll still retain your ‘continuity of care’ midwife. Whether you and your pregnant partner wanted to be under specialist care its not infrequent even in New Zealand where birth is considered to be natural.

Working with an obstetrician does not remove you and your pregnant partner from taking an active role in pregnancy and childbirth. In fact, a ‘natural’ birth can still take place while using modern medicine with not unlike wearing glasses/contacts, going to the dentist for treatment or using medications. Unless you have very strong philosophical issue with ‘medicine’ then participating in the birth of your child will always be a ‘natural’ part of pregnancy and giving birth will always be the ‘natural’ extension of pregnancy.

Conflict exists:

In reality, there still remains an oppositional debate in New Zealand between midwives and obstetric specialists about whether birth is safe or not. The message often given to expectant parents is that once they are under the care of a specialist you lose control over the birth experience and a ‘medical’ birth cannot be natural.

Urggghhh!

Since all births are the only outcome of pregnancy, therefore, all births are ‘natural’ and ‘normal’. Everything and anything that happens in pregnancy and birth is natural and normal even if it’s infrequent and unpleasant. The difference between people living in developed countries compared to the millions of people living in undeveloped countries is access to modern medicine.

Modern medicine can overlay a pregnancy and birth but it can never take away what is ‘natural’ and ‘normal’ about giving birth.

In New Zealand you can negotiate with your obstetrical professional about the types of medical assessments, monitoring and procedures will be used. However, being under obstetric care does not take away your need to:

• Prepare your pregnant partner’s body to let out a big object. Giving birth is an exercise in plumbing … a 3 dimensional object (your baby) has to come out of the inside of another 3 dimensional object (your partner’s body) even under obstetrical care. Men are so great at doing this!
• Learn together birth and coaching skills that will allow you to always work with your baby’s efforts to come out even around medical assessments, monitoring and procedures.

There will be more stuff

Under specialist care there is often more monitoring, assessments and procedures during pregnancy and birth. Your obstetrician’s job is to safeguard both the pregnant woman and baby in the way they’ve been educated to do. Your obstetrical specialist will not stop you from learning skills. They want you to. It’s not their job to teach you. It’s not your midwife’s job either. She supports your Birth Plans, gets to know you, does tests and sends you on to a specialist when necessary. Midwives would consider learning skills as taking personal responsibility.

It’s the issue of ‘responsibility’ that catches New Zealand people up when it comes to pregnancy and childbirth. What does responsibility mean? Presently New Zealand society does not expect expectant parents to learn how to prepare for birth or learn the right skills to use in whatever birth unfolds. No one has told you that in whatever birth you have you can be very competent and skilled.

Pregnancy and childbirth is treated a bit like going to the dentist. You have choices but remain passive. In reality giving birth is an activity more like a sport’s performance. Giving birth is something the woman has to do even in a medical environment. Like all DIYFathers you can be skilled even when you need some professional assistance.

At the moment, ‘taking responsibility’ means ‘make choices’. In reality ‘taking responsibility’ means ‘become skilled.’

‘Choice’ does not mean No

Your obstetrician or midwife would say it’s entirely your ‘choice’. But you shouldn’t treat the word ‘choice’ to mean … ‘can’t be bothered’ or ‘ they’re not necessary’ or ‘if it was important they’d tell me’. They won’t tell you because being skilled in pregnancy/childbirth is just not a NZ societal expectation although it would fit so well with the DIY approach to life. The word ‘choice’ actually means ‘must do’ when it comes to pregnancy and the birth of your baby.

While your obstetrical specialist will not direct you to become skilled, they will complement both of you when they see you using skills together. They’d love to see more families do the same. Their job would be so much more enjoyable if the majority of pregnant families were skilled birthing families … even during a non-labouring Caesarean delivery.

Become a DIYFather by being a skilled birth coach. Wow your obstetrician and wow yourself.

For the essential pregnancy and birth skills for both expectant parents go to www.birthingbetter.com and get The Pink Kit Package. The author of this article is Wintergreen, a Trustee to the New Zealand registered charitable Trust called Common Knowledge that produces The Pink Kit Method For Birthing Better®.