The Role Of Your New Zealand Midwife

Dear New Zealand DIYFather-to-be:

New Zealand has a very unique maternity service that is Midwifery led. You and your partner will have one (or team) of midwives who will be with you throughout the pregnancy, during birth and for 6 weeks afterwards. Nowhere else does a Government pay for that privileged type of midwifery continuity of care.

This ‘continuity of care’ focuses on having one midwife to work with you during this exciting period of your life. However, there are two primary misunderstandings about ‘continuity of care midwifery’ that absolutely must be opened up, looked at and dealt with.

New Zealand midwives base their professional relationship on a Partnership with women to whom they offer this continuity of care.

The Partnership is not working on the same premise

Many New Zealand women have interpreted a continuity of care model means:

• Their midwife will teach them how to birth and …
• Be their primary birth coach/support.

As an expectant father you might also believe this is what your midwife’s job … makes sense. Does a woman go to school to be a midwife to learn how to birth and teach that to other women? Actually, no, midwives don’t go to school to learn how to birth and many of them have not experienced the natural birth they promote. Midwifery training is all about keeping your partner and baby safe.

What women want and what midwives offer are part of this great, big message mix up!

Based on the NZ Midwifery Guide For Practice, midwives see their primary role as:

• Supporting a woman’s Birth Plan
• Leaving her alone to discover birth for her self.

This is the tricky part because you and your partner need to clarify this issue with your midwife. If you find your midwife is offering something different from your belief about their care then what are you going to do about this?

You have what you have and this is what you need to do about it

As an expectant father the best thing you and your pregnant partner can do is spend the last precious months of pregnancy learning how to:

• Prepare the pregnant body to let out a big object.

Giving birth is an exercise in plumbing … a big 3 dimensional object (your baby) has to come out of the inside of another 3 dimensional object (your partner’s body). Men are so good at seeing this! Men just need the skills to help this object come out.

• Learn both birth and coaching skills that will allow the two of you to always work with your baby’s efforts to come out no matter what type of birth you experience.

Just for you

You also have to grow some specific fatherhood qualities during pregnancy so that helping your partner prepare her body to give birth becomes YOUR job. With these wonderful fatherhood qualities you also take on the primary role of helping your partner let your baby come down, through and out her body with as little drama or trauma.

This means your midwife can fulfill her role … respect for your Birth Plans and how the woman gives birth. Frankly no woman who works as a midwife has the time and energy to teach you or your pregnant partner how to birth or put in the intense energy to help her. Midwives know that 100% of pregnant women will give birth one way or another so they know all pregnant women will give birth.

Your takeaway:

1. Your midwife is not going to teach your partner how to give birth. If you want her to have skills the two of you need to learn and practice them in your own time.

2. Your midwife is not going to be your partner’s primary birth coach. YOU WILL BE. If you don’t want to feel useless and helpless then you must learn the skills to help your partner cope with the natural pain in childbirth. If she’s having a non-labouring Caesarean then you can use the same skills during the surgery to feel more connected to your baby’s birth.

3. Birth is natural but it’s an activity and any activity is best done with skills. Your partner’s birthing skills and your coaching skills will complement each other.

4. Giving birth is the transition from ‘becoming’ a father or mother into ‘being’ one or the other. It’s essential you work through that transition rather than rely on someone else to do it for you.

5. Isn’t your baby’s birth worth your combined effort?

For the essential pregnancy and birth skills for both expectant parents go to www.birthingbetter.com and get The Pink Kit Package. The author of this article is Wintergreen, a Trustee to the New Zealand registered charitable Trust, Common Knowledge, that produces The Pink Kit Method For Birthing Better®.