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A father's take on Burnt Chop Syndrome
Submitted by stefan on Tue, 23/10/2007 - 4:12pm
Reflecting on this I thought is this something that would typically be done by mums or whoever happens to cook? So are all those stay home dads out there suffering from BCS as well? I happen to cook a lot for the rest of the family and of course there are frequent mishaps. For the major disasters I'd rather bin the "burnt chop" (whatever it happens to be) and we'd have less to go round. If the food item can still be salvaged I'd say it's a matter of sharing the culinary pain. Is BCS all about being polite or is there a deeper reason for a tendency to want to give the worst piece to yourself? Perhaps it's to do with our upbringing - i.e. like parents telling their kids to take the smaller piece of cake when offered two? Or what if there is not enough to go round - is that covered by BCS or is there a Not-Enough-Chops-Syndrome as well? Well given that women generally outlive men by 5-9 years and that women in the old role models used to do most of the cooking BCS can't be that bad. In fact perhaps that's a reason why women live longer - burnt chops are good for you! -Stef Trackback URL for this post:http://www.diyfather.com/trackback/201
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I've just come across "Burnt Chop Syndrome", which I had no idea existed as a phrase for something I have observed for years with my own mum. As a vegetarian it's all dutch to me of course but BCS refers to a tendency of mums to leave the worst for last (for herself) to make sure the rest of the family is alright. Well - the expression "burnt chops" is a bit dated, isn't it. For starters all chops these days look burnt anyway (given the high water content of mass produced meat). So we need a new name for the phenomenon.
I am a victim of the
I am a victim of the 'burntchop syndrome'. I learnt it from my mum....she was struggling for appreciation and recognition, because she knew she was 'only a woman' and if she couldn't do her womanly jobs properly then that left her with no credibility whatsoever. She was not allowed any input in family money matters and could perhaps gain praise and appreciation from her consumers if she managed to put the best possible meal in front of them at times at the expense of her own meal. She thought less of herself than she did of us, the family, We were her only claim to fame.
As she aged I noticed this attitude escalate to the extent that she thought so little of herself she became depressed, when people treated her as a lesser being she was hurt but didn't have the confidence to speak back.
So it started with giving herself the symbolic burnt chop and ended up with unrecognized and untreated depression.
She was a selfless woman...one of many.
My hubby's response to burnt
My hubby's response to burnt chop syndrome - "Why shouldn't she keep the burnt chop? she obviously burnt it!" ... hehe, can't argue with that logic
I do a lot of cooking for my
I do a lot of cooking for my family and I don't remember ever BSC'ing myself. What that says about me or what kind of muck I'm dishing up to my family I'm not quite sure!
As for women living longer, I reckon that is gonna even up in a generation or 2, as more women suffer the pressures and stress of working to support a family for a lifetime.
Who wants a bet that women start going bald and drop dead at 3 score and 10? Ten bucks says I win...
Hey - some of us actually
Hey - some of us actually like our stuff burnt - I'm always fighting for the burnt bits. Maybe it's just that crusty old sods like me like the crusty old bits.
Funny thing is, it was always the same with my dad - he always liked the burnt bits too! We always thought he was nuts. Now my kids think I'm nuts. Perhaps that's transgenerational hereditary craziness. Go figure.
AHA! So basically you're
AHA! So basically you're saying there is a difference between how mums and dads handle dishing out food? I was wondering about that - obviously at the moment we have a sample size of 2 ... well it's a start :-)
i reckon your thinking about
i reckon your thinking about it too much.
mums want the best for their kids no matter what, so they keep the worst off bits for themselves so baby/partner doesnt have to eat it.
i think it comes down to women being less selfish than men..
my mum always serves the kids first then my dad then herself (normaly with whatever is left over IF ANY!)
where as my dad will serve his plate (as much as he wants) then spreads whatever is left over between the remaining plates (quite selfish i say!)
but that might just be my family.