Application for permission to date my daughter

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.

NAME_____________________ DATE OF BIRTH___________

HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________

INCOME TAX FILE NUMBER _________________ DRIVERS LICENSE ________________

BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES__________________________

HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY___________ POSTCODE______

Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain: ____________________________________

Number of years they have been married _____________

If less than your age, explain
____________________________________________________

ACCESSORIES SECTION:

A. Do you own or have access to a bakkie? __Yes __No

B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No

C. A waterbed? __Yes __No

D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No

E. A tattoo? __Yes __No

F. Do you have an earring, nose ring,
pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a
belly button ring? __Yes __No

(IF YOU ANSWERED 'YES' TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)

ESSAY SECTION:

In 50 words or less, what does 'LATE' mean to you?
______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does 'DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER' mean to you?
______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, how would you define 'ABSTINENCE'?
______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

REFERENCES SECTION:

Church you attend ___________________________________________________

How often you attend ________________________________________________

When would be the best time to interview your:

Father? _____________

Mother?_____________

Priest or Pastor? _____________

SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:
Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.

A: If I were shot, the last place I would want to be shot would be:

______________________________________________________________

B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:

______________________________________________________________

C: A woman's place is in the:

______________________________________________________________

D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:

______________________________________________________________

E. What do you want to be IF you grow up?

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

F: When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:

______________________________________________________________

G: What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, INDIGENOUS AUSTRALIAN BULL ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE and RED HOT POKERS

_________________________________________________________
Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name)

_______________________________ ________________________________
Mother's Signature Father's Signature

_______________________________ ________________________________
Pastor/Minister/Priest Government Representative

Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing.

You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write. If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases. (You might watch your back)