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Confessions of a stay home dad
Submitted by community on Wed, 26/09/2007 - 5:39pm
In mainstream society dads are the ones who let mum sleep in on weekends, take the kids to the park or provide the stern word when they empty a tin of paint on the new plasma. Its the stuff of TV advertisements and sitcoms. The very notion that we'd give up working to be the primary caregiver, teacher, motivator and disciplinarian not to mention doing the vacuuming as well verges on the ridiculous. But us house dads are out there, silently waving the flag for fathering that goes beyond bathing baby at bedtime. And now that diyfather.com is on the scene hopefully the flag waving can be accompanied by fireworks and a noisy brass band. Because fathers needn't be ignorant nor lack confidence; its a two person job you know and there is not a single valid reason in the world why we can't have a greater role, let alone occupy the driving seat. As for me, I'm one of those flag wavers, with two testicles I might add. I've been in this role for 4 months. I write about it to help keep me sane, help keep the relatives up to speed but most importantly to try and make sense of the vastly challenging, rewarding, infuriating, life changing rollercoaster ride that stretches out before me. And I mean to make it sound profound and epic. It's my son I'm talking about and it doesn't get any bigger or more important than him. If I can make sense of it just a little bit, demystify the process and smile at the same time then perhaps my friends will stop calling me Mr Mom. -Chris Trackback URL for this post:http://www.diyfather.com/trackback/149
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Hi there. My name is Chris and I am a house dad to two and a half year old, apple of my eye, James. I'm also referred to as a stay-home dad. I'm even called Mr. Mom by some of my childless friends. Its in reference to an obscure, tacky movie made about 25 years ago starring Michael Keaton as a father who - shock horror! - stays at home to raise his kids. In fact, it was the Mr Mom tag that inspired me to start writing this blog in the first place. To be honest, it got under my skin. If we're not viewed as a cheap source of comedy (Michael Keaton's character thinks it is beneath him to do the housework; laugh as he can't get his kids dressed for school, cringe as he gets third degree burns cooking dinner etc etc) then invariably house dads are seen as a bit weird, as if there is something wrong with us for not being the bacon providers. We may as well be missing a testicle. 
Heya Chris, I've been a stay
Heya Chris, I've been a stay at home Dad for many years now.
I've had mostly positive feedback from men and women on my choice of vocation.
If men are giving you a hard time it's because they might be jealous of your life style ( in my experience ).
I LOVE telling the guys what I did today, had a run in the sun, played computer games etc etc I enjoy it especially more so if i suspect they are jealous. Turn it back on them. Make them take a look at their own lives.
Or could it be, simply just some gentle ribbing!?
My advise in either case is don't be defensive... spouting back all the positives is the best comeback *evil grin*.
Honestly if you are in the luxurious position of being able to live on one income, or whatever, then it is a fantastic life choice.
Having said that, before school age, I found, it was very difficult to do things ( I'm a builder by trade, so handy around the house and the odd cashy...). If I DID start on something, always getting interrupted and getting half the job done was very frustrating.
Also, I found talking to women and children all day long for days on end drove me nuts too : ).
Your male mates are the ones that will keep you sane. Enjoy the harassment. Taking the piss and giving shit is a time honoured male tradition and I treasure it.
Seriously, you ARE going through a massive readjustment and it's clear you are aware of that. Just do what you need to do to be happy and positive ( without spending great wads of cash 0_0 ). If you are clear in your own head of what you are trying to achieve, what other people say and think is their problem. That's true in most things, I guess.
Raise that flag high and
Raise that flag high and wave it like a madman. The more of us SAHD's that do this, the more we will be accepted.
One day.
My bit of flag waving is on TV2 Thursday 27th at 2.30.