For most of our pregnancy the emphasis was on the mother and baby and making sure that they are doing ok, the father is to a certain extent ignored. Now this isn’t a problem but I think fathers go through a change also, what will happen when the baby arrives, are we still going to be able to go out? Basic how will our lives change type of scenario!
If we go back to our original family structure – 1x Man, 1xWoman, 1xDog and 1xCat these made up the family, and then “bang” literally a baby goes straight to the top of the list and supersedes everyone else – followed a very close second by mum, unintentionally the father is pushed to one side, and feels a little bit inadequate almost like he shouldn’t be there!
I am trying to make sure that I am there for my wife but at the same time feel that I am on the back foot and that we are basically getting up and then feeding her, changing her nappies and then we put her to bed for her time to sleep and there isn’t really any time for me as a husband and now father, it’s hard to make sure I get my time and also her time along which seems to be prudent to be honest!
Fathers can definitely feel like they aren’t even part of the family but we are and we just have to make sure it’s not personal, I take Pyper most days as Renee works and this is great, as it has thrown me in the deep end and that is great for me to learn that way.
We will be doing a little more together but firstly we have to help get our daughter in to a routine which will be great.
Make sure you don’t let the heat on your relationship feel to the back burner.
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Hey yes i understand what
Hey yes i understand what you are saying, is there anyone else out there who has been through anything similar and didnt come out the other end? Thanks Scott
It's hard when a new baby
It's hard when a new baby comes into the mix. Nora Ephron said it best. "A baby is a hand grenade thrown into a marriage."
Mum's new role is that of Mum. And yes, we blokes can get lost in the mix. It was the same when My little guy came along. It didn't help that my wife is a bit of a control freak and wouldn't let me help. These were dark days I can tell you.
Now, things are much better. We undertook some councilling and Mum learnt to let go and let me into the mix. We are now a happy family and our relationships (Mum, Dad and boy) are much better. It's a real balance to be supportive of a new mum while asseting yourself as a new dad, but if you get it right, it's brilliant!
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