I was a young father, I guess when you consider the ages of my 3 children I will always be a young father, but as much as I hate to say it I was too immature to bring up my 3 children, as much as I loved them and worked hard to house, clothe and feed them it wasn't enough.

I was a terrible husband to my first wife; we fought all the time about how we should bring up our children, we would scream, yell and slam doors, worst of all in front of our little babies. Then in 1996 I went to ARMY basic training, which lasted about a month or more and it was hell, but what got me through was the phone calls and letters I would get from my family and the thought that I will have my babies in my arms soon. Then it was finally over and it was time to go home, I was so proud of becoming solider and looking forward to holding my babies, but it wasn't to be, I came home to an empty house, CYF had uplifted my babies and their mother the day before.

In shock unable to feel completely devastated, I didn't move even to go outside for 3 days, until a police officer came to evict me from the house, not only did I not have or know where my family where I was now homeless.

What is it like? It felt like I had nothing to live for, I had no idea what was going on, I know things weren't great but no one would tell me what was happening, I was confused, hurt and deeply angry.

A month later a social worker came to talk with me,(with a body guard), she told me that the kids were ok and that there is an investigation going on at the moment, but still no explanation as to why I was removed from my children.

8 months latter with no answers, a family meeting was held, it was then I got to hear why I was removed, I thought I was to be shocked any more, but to hear why I had lost access with my children just floored me, I couldn't believe my ears I was accused of physical and sexual abuse of my babies, why would anyone say anything like that? Who would even think it? There was no proof or evidence just what was being said by the children's mother and it was flimsy at best.

It was 10 months till I got to see my children, supervised in an Access Centre but I didn't care. I was just so happy to see them all again. For 5 years I would see my children for 1 1/2 hours a fortnight then to a month, in an access centre, I wasn't bitter for it I treasured every minute I got with my children. It was clear I wasn't going to go away; there is no way I am leaving my children.

I did everything CYFs wanted me to do; I just wanted to move forward, the hardest thing I had to come to terms with was that I will never be a parent to my children. That was now the role of 2 very generous women (the children were also removed from their mother less then 2 years after I was removed).

After my 5 years of access at a centre, I was given my first outside of the access centre supervised access, after only several months of that (access only being once a month) the access supervisor wrote me a commendation, matched with the tests I had to do for years, I was finally given unsupervised access with my children. That is how it is now, they can stay with me and my 2nd wife in our home anytime they like. I support the 2 women that parent my children, my children are their children too.

What got me through, I kept my eye on the ball, it didn't matter what I had to do, or how long it would take, I was going to get the chance to be a father to my children again. I never gave up and always let my children know I love them.

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