Hi,

Being away from your child is really tough... especially when they are that young. I have been a long distance mom for several years to my son and I am now a long distance step mom. The ideas that Trevor gave you are great ideas... really creativity is key.

Try internet visitation, if you arent already. Spending face time playing games and talking can be a great help. My son spelled his very first words on the computer with me. How cool to still get to experience that sort of milestone! :)

Try to stay positive about it... the more positive you can find in it, the easier it will be. There are some online long distance dads groups and, of course, http://distanceparent.org. :)

Carrie

Thanks Trevor. I am pretty much already doing what you've written in your reply. I have read that children remember and appreciate the daily phone calls far more than the parent trying to make up for lost time like gifts and extravagant outings. I am giving my daughter quality time when I go home and my daughter sees me and my wife being close too.

Thanks again for enforcing what I am already doing.

Hi Tom,

You have my utmost sympathy. I'm sorry but no job would keep me from my 3-yr old daughter, film, tv or anything. But no, you are not over-reacting. Long-distance relationships are very hard and take serious work.

Given your circumstances I have a few ideas, probably what everyone else is saying as well, but hopefully that will reinforce how tried and tested they are!!
1) Phone her, every day. Hell, more than once a day. Conversation will be probably less than a minute or so, so it's not a big expense.
2) Write her letters. Tell her about your day (good or bad!), what you are doing, who you meet, how you feel about her; anything.
3) Send her pictures and videos of yourself. At home, at work, at play. Tell her how much you miss her, and her Mum. Let her know (as soon as she understands numbers) how many big sleeps until you are coming home again.
4) Make sure EVERY TIME you go home to spend some Father:Daughter time. Just the 2 of you. It doesn't have to be a lot, just make sure that she is your ONLY focus for that time. Go to the park, go to the beach(?), take the dog for a walk, anything just to spend time with her.
5) When you go home, make sure she sees you and your wife being close with each other. Let her see that you also miss mum. This will stand her in good stead when (HORROR OF HORRORS!!) she starts dating.
6) On a long weekend, go for a "big adventure" (what we use for our girl) and take her and mum to where you live & work. Find cool kid places near there that you can go to, even to work, if that's possible. Let her meet people that you talk about in your letters/phone calls/videos.

I hope these help Tom.

All the very best
Trevor