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The 21st century dad - no time for old stereotypes
Submitted by community on Thu, 06/09/2007 - 5:10pm
One of my newer pet peeves is the portrayal of men and fathers in film, TV, and other media as ignorant, clumsy, and incapable. The negative stereotypes of fathers are so commonplace and insidious that they often escape notice. Yesterday I encountered this one at LynnMall in New Lynn, West Auckland:
What is the point of this? I assume that it is simply a matter of effortless humor and superficial ratings - as in the case of Archie Bunker, Homer Simpson and Ray Romano. Still, I wonder about follow-on effects of perpetuating these dated stereotypes. What would it be like if men and fathers were portrayed as nurturing, competent, and responsible? Would we expect more from our fathers than selfishness, indifference, inconsistency, and abuse? Well - I'm determined to find out. So I wrote to the Marketing Manager of LynnMall, which boasts on its website about its "all-female management team:" ... I noticed the ad where the Amazon store is going in and was surprised. It shows a baby in a makeshift, tea-towel nappy being held in outstretched arms by what is clearly a man (note the prominent hairy arms and hands). I don't know what Lynmall is trying to suggest by this ad, but I took it to mean that this man (father) is incompetent to take care of his child, diapered the baby with a tea towel and clothes pins because he is too dumb to know better, and is happy to be handing the baby off to someone who knows more (ostensibly its mother). If this is the point of the ad, I think you are 50 years too late. The portraying of men as big, dumb oafs incapable of childcare, housework, or even involvement in polite society is finally falling out of vogue. Thankfully too, as it is a useless, inaccurate and damaging stereotype. I am a stay-at-home father myself and was disappointed to see this from your company, especially in West Auckland, where active and engaged fatherhood seems to be the rule, rather than the exception. If you spend any time in your food court, you would see an amazing amount of men caring for their infants and children (and not a tea towel in sight)." You may think my reaction was excessive, but what is a man to do - short of penning hasty, frustrated e-mails at every turn. Perhaps we can debunk the stereotype by example. How do we do this? Be proud to actively and compassionately father in public. Confidently parent, rather than always deferring to your partner, family or friends. Seek information when needed, but trust your male instincts and intuition. |
Hey Nathan - thanks for your
Hey Nathan - thanks for your note. I guess the most appropriate response to your comment would be "sad but true". That's why a paradigm shift is needed ... I can't believe that men (in general) put up with this. We are being stereotyped into dumb consumers who can be defined by an interest in sport, cars and work. What a sad existence. This has got to change and it starts with us. We need to BE the change we want to see.
-Stef
Television exists to sell
Television exists to sell advertising. Women make over 90% of the household purchasing decisions. Watch "manly" programming like sports, and you'll see commercials for life insurance, cars, and brokerages. Vendors of soap and diapers know that they need programs that make women out to be heroes and geniuses. Advertisers of household products like negative masculine stereotypes because they are flattering to their customers - women.
Thnx for your nice
Thnx for your nice posting.As a single dad I struggle against stereotypes all the time. If the media depicted dads in a different, more positive light, it would help ordinary people be more accepting of involved dads.Whenever I have the TV on, I now change channels as soon as any misandrist message comes through - and stay away until the next program is due.
The 21st century father is
The 21st century father is doting, focused, well-informed and just as in control as mom, if he so chooses, as I do and so many other fathers I know.
Let's face it, marketing
Let's face it, marketing agencies serve up a load of dross at the best of times - just look at the tired, juvenile adverts we have to put up with on TV
totally agree
I have benefited a great
I have benefited a great deal from using social media. What Classmates.com charges money to do, you can do for free on Facebook. I’ve had some great Tweet sessions. StumbleUpon continues to send traffic to my blog.
You're right on the mark,
You're right on the mark, here. The media needs to change the dad image that gets portrayed. A lot of dads these days know what they're doing. As a single dad I struggle against stereotypes all the time. If the media depicted dads in a different, more positive light, it would help ordinary people be more accepting of involved dads, and scratch their heads when they see the old-fashioned oafs. Dads are evolving, society needs to evolve with us.
Couldn't agree more. The
Couldn't agree more. The 21st century father is doting, focused, well-informed and just as in control as mom, if he so chooses, as I do and so many other fathers I know. I hadn't really thought about the issue you raise as an indictment of all us until just now. Thanks for the insight and the perspective.
Don't worry about the ads.
Don't worry about the ads. It hits closer to home when you hear your partners girlfriends being so amazed with how you stay at home and look after your child, as though they thought no male could.
(although... I love hearing it too lol)
To my Nana (back in the
To my Nana (back in the States):
Thanks for your comment, I guess. If I am arrested, you will be my first call (for bail money).
This company should hire you, as your explanation for this ridiculous ad is much better spin than its Marketing Manager could muster.
Here is part of her response:
"It was not our intention for the man in the ad represents the child's father, in fact it aims to portray this person as lacking parental skills, so would clearly not be a parent. The intention was for the man to be a family friend, older brother, cousin, uncle, etc who may therefore be uncomfortable with, and inexperienced in changing nappies.
...
The fact we felt comfortable enough to run this ad would suggest that we believe men and women were comfortable enough in the ability of fathers parenting skills, and able to enjoy a satirical play on those who aren't fathers and are uncomfortable with something as simple as changing a nappy."
This is the biggest bunch of nonsensical rubbish I have ever read.
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