Childbirth in the 70s - we've come a long way

When my son was born we lived in Auckland -central Mt Eden, still flatting, as most of my age were doing. Wages were low but we were happy enough in the 70's -still emerging from the rebirth of life as we knew it in the 60's. If you weren't on drugs you were on flagons of muscatel and very dodgy reds! VERY sophisticated.

My son was late in coming - either that or the doc couldn't count, so the wait and the immediate preamble to his arrival was both expectant and fraught. In those days (already sounding like I thought my grandparents sounded) information given expectant parents was pretty scant -like it wasn't something you were to be trusted with - or assumed you wouldn't understand. But then it was time - contractions and all the stuff that goes with imminent lift off.

Dads know your Pyloric Stenosis

A couple of weeks ago I spent the best part of my Saturday in the hospital after my 3 month old son had pretty much vomited for 2 days solid. When we got to the hospital he stopped (don't we know that one ...) - still the doctors didn't take any chances and told us they would like to check him for Pyloric Stenosis which is particularly common for 3 month-old boys.

As usual I had no idea this condition even existed ... the doctors were brilliant in explaining it to us though (in plain English! YAY). Basically there is a muscle at the end of the stomach which controls the passing of food from the stomach to the intestines. Babies who are diagnosed with Pyloric Stenosis have an extra strong muscle that prevents food from passing through. Since there is nowhere else to go for the food it goes back to where it came from. Typically in a very violent manner (which means you will most likely have to redecorate the nursery).

Five Decisions Expectant Fathers Tend to Avoid

Expectant fathers have a lot of decisions to make when getting ready for the arrival of their first or new child. Many people create checklists to try and help them prepare, but it is impossible to make ready for every situation or need. There are many decisions during the pregnancy that dads really care about expressing an opinion but some are avoided at all costs.

Here are Five Decisions Expectant Fathers Tend to Avoid:

1. Choice of doctor or hospital - we're not the ones who need to feel comfortable being poked, probed and examined, so why should our opinion matter?

2. Room decor or bedding set - dads want kids to have cool rooms, but the only things we really care about when it comes to decor are how much it costs and the amount of work it will be for us to paint and set-up all of the furniture.

3. Formula or breastfed baby - as long as we can be involved in feeding the baby in some way, we don't really care where the milk comes from.

4. Natural or 'pain relieved' delivery - some dads may quietly think they have a strong position on this leading up to the big day; however, that quickly changes when they get in the delivery room with a screaming mom. In most cases, dads understand that they aren't the ones pushing the baby out, so they really don't have a say about epidurals or pain medications anyway.

Duncan's Story: A Homebirth

The following story is re-published on DIYFather.com with kind permission from www.homebirth.org.nz.

It all started for me some three and a half years ago at an antenatal class - a bunch of expectant first time parents sitting there with a group of strangers wondering, "What the hell am I doing here?" Midwives! Bring on the doctors, the machinery, the drugs and the other wonders of modern science. But there I was, dragged along by my wife's excitement, listening to what I thought at the time was the "hippy" section of the medical profession, subscribing natures way and homeopathic remedies for childbirth. These, I thought, were the people probably not good enough to get a job at the hospitals - HOW WRONG I WAS!

In hindsight, women have been giving birth for quite a few years now and why I thought giving birth in a hospital would be better I have no idea.

Cats and eyes strangely enough dont mix

Pyper was on our bed with us, and so was the cat.... hmm ok I can hear what you are saying!!!
Pyper turned around and then burst our crying, and the cat jumped off the bed, i gave Pyper a hug as I didn’t see anything and just thought she was being a bit silly! After the hug she kept playing and then 10 minutes later I saw red scratch marks under her left eye and also on her nose and eye brow, I wondered what the hell was going on, and thought the damn cat must have scratched her. It must have been fast as it was directly under her eye and on her eyelid, it scared me, thankfully it didn’t look like it got her eyeball and she seemed to be fine.

We took her to the afterhours medical centre where they assessed her and then sent us home, she was fine put some saline solution on it if need be and then also some pamol if need be as well. We have now made sure she doesn’t get too close to the cat as accidents change lives very fast.

Father Again

7th April 2008, at 11:31am by Caesarean Section (due to baby wanting to come out feet first) weighing in at 6lb 12oz. Ava Grace Mooij made DIYFathers' Eric a father again.

At 3am Andrea knew something was going to happen, but she didn't wake me... at 6 when I left for work, she said to leave my phone on and keep it near me, the baby might be coming early (due date 16th April).

So I did, keep my phone on and close to me.

09:48 I got a call, Andrea didn't need to say anything, I answered the phone with "Are you at the hospital?” "No but I'm on my way" was Andrea's reply.

10:18 I arrived at the hospital, to catch Andrea and the midwife just walking in to the hospital...perfect timing.

Forgive me if I’m a little scattered. I didn’t sleep very much last night...

Yesterday Encarna came to the hospital to hold the baby so April could take a nap and I could walk home to pick up a few things. I didn't have much time at home, maybe thirty minutes, but I did grab a few DVDs off the shelf next to the TV. Even though we had been in the hospital for a day already, apparently I wasn't willing to give up the idea in my head that staying at the hospital after delivery is like staying home from work with a cold. Yes, you don't feel well, but really all you have to do is rest and get better. Eat, drink, lie around watching movies, and if you get really bored, find somebody to order around.

I guess I mean to say that I imagined that when all the drama of the delivery was said and done, the curtain would metaphorically close, and we would be left alone in our hospital room, our little nest, to get to know each other and be a family.

Baby on Board

While driving to a wedding with Andrea 30 weeks pregnant in the passenger seat, we crossed an traffic light controlled intersection as you do when you have the Green Light, a car drives right into the Andreas door, pushing the car right across the street, fortunately the road was wet from there being rain earlier, the car was a light car and new with all the side impact features in new cars.
I drove the crippled car back over to the correct side of the road, out of row of on coming traffic (lucky there wasn’t that either).

Checked first if Andrea was ok, she was talking, looked and said she felt ok.

I went to see the driver of the other car, who had by then managed to steer his crippled car near where I parked mine, he was ok, and he admitted responsibility immediately

I called emergency services and asked for Police and explained the situation:
* Car Accident
* Location
* Wife 30 weeks pregnant

Accidents - what fathers can do?

Recently some good friends of ours gave us a call to come down and look after their 2 other children as there 3rd child had tripped and fallen into the front glass door. I live up the road so went straight there, when I heard an ambulance had been called my brain didn’t connect with the seriousness of it. I was thinking as I was going down there it can’t be too bad! Well when I got there I saw a jagged hole where the glass use to be and then I was told it was bad! Still didn’t think much of it, the mother was looking after the 2 younger ones as the father was looking after the older injured one. They knew I wasn’t good with blood at all, and they made sure they kept him away from me.

When babies are sick there is NO one to trust Part 2

... Pyper came home from Hospital on Friday, we started her on Lactose Free Formula, we were led into a false sense of security in relation to thinking everything was ok. We persevered and when the doctor called to say that Pyper was booked in with a paediatrician, we thought we might as well take her as even though we were told she was "fixed" we thought might as well check it out. There were still a few bowel movements but they were becoming a lot firmer.

So I took Pyper in to see the paediatrician and she was happy with Pyper's progress. I explained to her what we had been through a lot and she agreed that Pyper still had the ends of a bug and that basically she looked well, and that she should go back on to any other type of formula as "they were all the same".