Dads at Christmas Miss Out

I came across this article which is a reality for a lot of fathers who don't have access to their children. Access is an issue for many fathers including celebrity dads like Sir Bob Geldof. It's particularly relevant at this time of year when absence is felt a lot more. The article is a good reminder of the important of the relationship between father and child, but also father and mother.

- Scott

Families across Britain are spending quality time over the holidays, except for the many fathers who aren’t, because the courts or their former partners won’t allow them access to their children.

In the vast majority of cases here, mothers receive residence, regardless of how involved the father was the children’s lives before the parents separated.

Advice for Teenage Dads

The following information has been published with kind permission from Barnardos (taken from Information Sheet No. 37).

One of a teenage males biggest fears can be getting a girl pregnant. What do I tell my friends and family? How will they react? Do I want to continue to be involved with the mother? What’s the story on child support? How can I afford it? What about sport, further study, future career, my mates and all that stuff?

Being a father means there are a lot of issues to sort through and many conflicting demands to balance. You may be unsure if you are the father. Or you may be thinking seriously about what your responsibilities actually are, whether you want involvement in your Childs life, whether or not you want to commit yourself to a long term relationship with the mother and so on.

Separation is tough, but keep the kids out of the nastiness

Let me start by saying I am not a father, I am a parent. I separated from the father of my 2 children approx. 4 years ago. It was a difficult decision to make as we had been together for many years, but I knew that our relationship was far from an ideal one to raise children in and was way beyond repair.

I encouraged him to see the children and spend time with them as I knew that they loved him very much. It was his choice to not do so for a long time due to the hatred he felt for me. I made the mistake of forcing him to see them, but this was a waste of time as they felt his disinterest and it hurt their feelings. He needed to WANT to see them. Once I realised this, I made sure that he knew once he got his life back together the door was open for him to see them.

Losing your children

I was a young father, I guess when you consider the ages of my 3 children I will always be a young father, but as much as I hate to say it I was too immature to bring up my 3 children, as much as I loved them and worked hard to house, clothe and feed them it wasn't enough.

I was a terrible husband to my first wife; we fought all the time about how we should bring up our children, we would scream, yell and slam doors, worst of all in front of our little babies. Then in 1996 I went to ARMY basic training, which lasted about a month or more and it was hell, but what got me through was the phone calls and letters I would get from my family and the thought that I will have my babies in my arms soon. Then it was finally over and it was time to go home, I was so proud of becoming a solider and looking forward to holding my babies, but it wasn't to be. I came home to an empty house ... CYF had uplifted my babies and their mother the day before.