Trickle Down Parenting

By Joe Beam

Did you know that according to marriage experts the first major crisis in many marriage relationships is the birth of their first child? With all the stresses of caring for a toddler, it's easy to see why trouble could erupt. To keep your marriage out of crisis, several things need to be considered.

Who's Your Baby?
Why is the birth of the first child often the first crisis? Because mama has a new baby. Before her child's birth, her husband was "her baby". But with the arrival of a new baby, mums alter their focus almost entirely to the new baby (and nature needs it to be that way of course). After a hard day of changing diapers, cleaning spilled milk off the carpet and listening to the baby cry, mums' are exhausted and nerves are shot. The exhaustion carries over to the bedroom and all other aspects of married life.

Heather, Tanner and Jason

Marriage will only ever be what you put into it

I don’t know what your marriage looks like, but the reality is that there will be a huge number of people who hear this who are all set to throw in the towel – half of all marriages in this country end in divorce. The state of the other half of marriages will look like patch-work quilt … some great, some not so great.

Communicator & author, Walt Larimore says that when he and his wife buy a wedding present for friends, that they give them a box … a very beautiful, but empty box. In it, they put these words:
“Most people who get married believe a myth – they believe that marriage is a beautiful box filled with all the things they’ve longed for - they believe that it is filled with companionship, sexual fulfilment, intimacy and friendship. The truth is that marriage at the start is an empty box, you must put something in before you can take something out.

Greener Grass?

Hi, I’m Tim Sisarich and I was at a wedding recently … it was beautiful … a stunning bride, rose-pettled aisle, the groom beaming as if his bride was the only person in the universe.

… and then there were the vows. They echoed the vicar …I promise to stand beside you, to stay with you … … in sickness & in health, for richer, for poorer, in the good times and the bad … I DO!

As they said their vows, I was struck by the gamble they were taking … a 50/50 chance they’d make it to their 12th wedding anniversary… a 50/50 chance that 5 years from now, that groom, would be echoing the same words to Sarah from marketing
I could almost picture him standing in the doorway, suitcase in hand… His daughter stands there clutching her mummy’s hand … what was she thinking… is she too young to understand –… she will someday… won’t she?

Marriage check-up

Fill in the blanks, and discuss with your spouse tonight:

I wish my wife and I had more time to _________.

I love it when my spouse ___________.

The thing we argue about the most is ____________.

If I could change two things about myself, to better please my spouse, it would be _________ and __________.

For the four key patterns that destroy oneness in marriage

Fight for Love

It seems everywhere you look today, marriages and relationships are falling apart … I know I’ve been shocked when friends of mine have split up – people who I thought would be together forever.”

Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t have a Sleepless In Seattle marriage, but I’m trying to be a cool dad and husband … to listen and learn and work out what makes my wife happy.
And I just read a great book on this whole thing, that you can knock out in an hour … literally – called The 60 Minute Marriage!
It has really helped us, to go through it together … but, prepare yourselves, if you do take my 60 minute challenge and read this book as a couple, it brings up some issues that make the road a little rockier before it gets smooth … but as I’m learning, the rewards are worth all the hard stuff.

You know what the key to it all was? Our wedding day vows! You know, we say that we’ll love in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad times.

International Sign of Marriage