Hi, I’m Tim Sisarich and I was at a wedding recently … it was beautiful … a stunning bride, rose-pettled aisle, the groom beaming as if his bride was the only person in the universe.

… and then there were the vows. They echoed the vicar …I promise to stand beside you, to stay with you … … in sickness & in health, for richer, for poorer, in the good times and the bad … I DO!

As they said their vows, I was struck by the gamble they were taking … a 50/50 chance they’d make it to their 12th wedding anniversary… a 50/50 chance that 5 years from now, that groom, would be echoing the same words to Sarah from marketing
I could almost picture him standing in the doorway, suitcase in hand… His daughter stands there clutching her mummy’s hand … what was she thinking… is she too young to understand –… she will someday… won’t she? ... read more >>

I came across this article which is a reality for a lot of fathers, who have children but cant have access to them. When we first started DIYfather.com it was thought that it was a site for disgruntled fathers of which we know it isn’t, but unfortunately there are a lot of fathers out there who want to but cant see their children.

What we need to take from this from a fathers point of view, is don’t give up if you think you are on the other side of the law, make sure your kids know that you are there for them, even when you cant be there.

Remember it doesn’t just happen to your run of the mill fathers but also to celebrity dads just like it did for Sir Bob Geldof, if fathers are so desperate then why aren’t they being heard. If he can do something about poverty then why cant he do something about absent fathers. ... read more >>

To me being a father is one of the greatest privileges I have experienced in my life. I have two daughters one aged 20 and the other aged 10 from two different marriages. Having spent many Christmases with both my daughters my wife and my ex wife has demonstrated to me that even though a marriage may finish it is possible to still create a partnership with an ex when you are committed to making it work.

I have often reflected on what is the key to being a great father and I am not saying I have the answer, I still make many mistakes and I am clear that in relationship to my eldest daughter when I stopped being the authority in her life and started being a friend is when my relationship transformed. In other words I stopped being the boss and started getting along side her and getting in to her world and opening up to possible solutions verses telling her what to do. It works. ... read more >>

Sometimes work results in fathers being away from their children for periods of time, They may be doing shift work, travelling a lot or working contracts away from home, even overseas. For some fathers the relationship breakdown has resulted in them moving out of the family home and sometimes even living in a different town.

Children still need a positive, supportive and loving relationship with both of the parents.

If dads live away or are separated from children a lot, you will need to work hard at providing them with the love and support that they need. Avoid regrets which can come later in life if you simply drift apart.

Even when the children are not with you, you can still keep in contact in all sorts of ways –

1. Talk to them regularly by phone

2. Send them postcards and letters addressed to them

3. Send them photos of you wherever you are

4. Send a little gift or other surprise

5. Ask for photos of them ... read more >>

A study in both US & NZ shows a very strong link that teenage girls in these countries engage in sexual activity and also get pregnant without a father present.

Studies from psychologist Bruce J. Ellis of the University of Canterbury in New Zealand and his coworkers in the May/June Child Development state "These findings may support social policies that encourage fathers to form and remain in families with their children, unless the marriage is highly [conflicted] or violent,"

Prior studies have shown early sexual activity and teenage pregnancy among girls who grow up from infancy without a father. However, scientists have generally assumed that precocious sexuality results from a mix of adverse influences, including a father's absence, divorce, poverty, and the lack of parental guidance. ... read more >>

I didn't have a father growing up. I don't say that with grief or sorrow, because it was probably best for many reasons. Still, as a new father, I wonder how I go about this thing called fathering, when I have never experienced it or seen it done.

I did have a wonderful maternal grandfather who took up a lot of the slack and was a friend, mentor, coach, and confidant. I guess this is fathering. Or is it grandfathering?

I also take comfort from the fact that I didn't see it done badly. I really am a blank slate, which is why I am here on DIYfather.com and trying to get in touch with other fathers to find out how they are doing it. ... read more >>

Let me start by saying I am not a father, I am a parent. I separated from the father of my 2 children approx. 4 years ago. It was a difficult decision to make as we had been together for many years, but I knew that our relationship was far from an ideal one to raise children in and was way beyond repair.

I encouraged him to see the children and spend time with them as I knew that they loved him very much. It was his choice to not do so for a long time due to the hatred he felt for me. I made the mistake of forcing him to see them, but this was a waste of time as they felt his disinterest and it hurt their feelings. He needed to WANT to see them. Once I realised this, I made sure that he knew once he got his life back together the door was open for him to see them. ... read more >>

50% of all marriages fail and it is higher for the second marriage and so on, with that in mind is Separation and Divorce considered normal?

My mother left the family home when I was just 7, it was still the 70s and divorce wasn't yet that common, my friends still had an intact family. My brother and I were brought up by our father, we had no idea anymore of what was normal. All you know is that you don't see one of your parents as often as you would like.

12 years later I am separated from my first wife, with 3 babies. Is this me keeping the cycle of broken families alive? ... read more >>

My children were removed from my care when my youngest was just a baby; it was 10 months before I could see my 3 young children. For me gaining access wasn't automatic I had to earn it and push for it, I didn't get much, 1 1/2 hours every fortnight which was then reduced to once a month because it was difficult for the children's mother to keep bringing the children to the centre.

I kept asking "when can I see my children?" and "what do I need to do now?" and I kept it up, never giving up, and my reward was the same 1 1/2 hours with my children once a month for 5 years. The best 1 1/2 hours of my month, I looked forward to it every time, I thought nothing of the time in between, it was time I needed to do what ever was needed for me to do to move forward and to show I was not going to walk away from my children. ... read more >>

I was a young father, I guess when you consider the ages of my 3 children I will always be a young father, but as much as I hate to say it I was too immature to bring up my 3 children, as much as I loved them and worked hard to house, clothe and feed them it wasn't enough.

I was a terrible husband to my first wife; we fought all the time about how we should bring up our children, we would scream, yell and slam doors, worst of all in front of our little babies. Then in 1996 I went to ARMY basic training, which lasted about a month or more and it was hell, but what got me through was the phone calls and letters I would get from my family and the thought that I will have my babies in my arms soon. Then it was finally over and it was time to go home, I was so proud of becoming solider and looking forward to holding my babies, but it wasn't to be, I came home to an empty house, CYF had uplifted my babies and their mother the day before. ... read more >>