Selfish or selfless?

The other day my eldest son overheard someone saying that people who choose not to have children are selfish, so he wanted me to explain why. I can remember my own parents having the same opinion, as if people are supposed to shackle themselves with the responsibility of parenthood as a necessary rite of passage. Passage to what I am still unclear. I explained to my son that it is “because some people with children resent those who get to enjoy their lives a bit too much by freeing up their time and money by opting out of the parent game and focusing on themselves instead”.

Greased Lightning

Have you ever noticed that most parents seem to hope their children will be gifted, talented, bright sparks? They mistake unexpected spikes in performance with genius as if having a savant in the family will bring reflected glory. It’s one thing to be proud of your kids, but quite another to expect, desire, NO, need to achieve things through your kids. In any case, it seems to me that those with exceptional ability at one thing always lack profoundly in other ways. What parents should really wish for is children who are reasonably good at many things: i.e. balanced, well adjusted, all-rounders.

Age concern

I’m sure all parents will have noticed that all children want to be older. They eke out the quarter years, the third years, the half years and the nearly years in an ever present impatience to rack up the score, as if being young is something to be ashamed of. Along with remarks like "I’m not a baby, I’m a boy" or "I’m not a little boy, I’m a big boy" it makes parents realize that age is power to the child. So, how come all that changes in the adult world?

I am one of those people who often assumes that other people are older than me, only to be astounded to find that they are in fact younger. Naturally I wonder whether the reason has to do with them or with me ... or both. In other words, are they mature for their age, or am I immature? Or could it be that they take life more seriously than I do? Or could it be that they are just squares, bores, measured, safe?

Litter bugs

One of the things we instil in our children, as a duty to society, is respect for their environment. The dropping of litter has come to symbolize the frontline between those who care and those who couldn’t care less. The other day I saw a man casually discard a cigarette box as he walked along a pavement. I was following behind and I found myself compelled to pick the box up and reproach him about littering the streets. So I said “Excuse me, I think this is yours,’ holding the box up for all to see.

Nits

Here in chattering-class England, the subject of head-lice, or nits, is an ongoing saga. You see, it is considered de rigueur for boys to wear their hair middle-length, in contrast with girls who have it long. In point of fact, it is considered rather ‘low rent’ for boys to have very short hair and the reason is snobbery. That is “what the working-class do” according to those in the know, because “boys is boys, and girls is girls.”