“Bring it on,” I yelled to my kids. “I’ll pin you both at the same time!”

“You think so?” my daughter yelled back. “You’re gonna get what you deserve!” My son came at me from the front, while my daughter snuck around behind me. I spun to the ground, and was assaulted on both sides. It was only a matter of time before they each had a shoulder pinned to the ground.

While they celebrated their victory, I planned my next attack, knowing that the “results” of the battle were far less important than the battle itself.

Do you want to be an effective father?

One of the easiest ways to be effective is to wrestle with your kids. Not only is it loads of fun, but its’ benefits go a long ways towards teaching your kids some valuable lessons.

There have been countless debates about how to help your kids become happy, healthy, successful people in their own lives. And one effective method of preparing them for their own lives is to give them a heavy dose of the word that not enough kids are getting today. The word?

“No!”

All of you deal with a certain amount of frustration in your everyday adult lives. You’re frustrated at your jobs, in your relationships, and by circumstances that you have no control over. Over time you learn to handle frustration better and to turn it into challenges and opportunities that you can work through.

People who can handle frustration successfully tend to have happier and more successful lives. They learn to be resilient and to appreciate what they’ve accomplished and what they’ve received.

How about your kids?

Author Calvin Sandborn blames patriarchy for stealing the hearts of fathers, and here is an article written by Scott McKeen, which appeared in the Edmonton Journal recently:

This one's for men who seethe inwardly, men who rage outwardly and men whose reflexive anger protects them from hurt feelings.

In other words, it's for the vast majority of men in our society. Last Monday I wrote about the psychological void in most men caused by emotionally distant fathers.

Today's column is about how that void is oft filled with anger -- one of the few emotions men feel safe to express, along with laughter and lust.

Calvin Sandborn's book, Becoming the Kind Father, is today's inspiration. Sandborn is in town to give a workshop on the topic of male anger.

In the chaos of modern life, it's easy to lose sight of many of the important things you can do as a father. Here's a list of some of the more important ones:

1. Leave something for them - a letter to them, some reflections on their childhood
2. Understand family systems
3. Tell them your stories
4. Have rituals in your family
5. Teach them your values
6. Avoid the bad mistakes - anger is often a culprit
7. Know the stages of your child’s growth
8. Be playful with them, even when they’re older
9. Know your child’s life intimately
10. Treat your wife very well
11. Be physical with them - hugs, wrestle
12. Do nothing with them
13. Know the fundamental errors we make with boys and girls
14. Take care of your life
15. Get them involved in activities
16. Be accepting of all of them
17. Make connections - family and friends
18. Yes, tell them you love them
19. Learn how to process events
20. Teach them how to do one thing really well