I had a Revelation just a week or so ago. And when I tell you what it is, it’ll seem obvious – but often the most elusive things are.

Wait – let me start from the beginning. I recently had the chance to speak with Steve Biddulph, author of the best-selling book ‘Raising Boys’. He is an engaging man with plenty to say to Dads’ and no issue with any and all pronunciations of his surname. The very basic philosophy outlined in his book and when he speaks is this:

Between birth and six years boys belong to Mum most of all. That is not to diminish the role Dad plays – but Mum is the first port of call and the role model they look to. Then from six to fourteen years they switch and become much more interested in Dad. Again – Mum’s role during these years is no less than Dad’s – but parents will notice that suddenly boys become much more interested in Dad.

My son turns one tomorrow. I can scarcely believe it. But it occurs to me as I write this that – even though all the presents are arriving with his name on them – this is not his celebration; this is ours.

He can have all the remaining birthdays – but this first one means we get to breath a sigh of relief and say, ‘We made it!’ We got through the sleepless nights of the first three months, we survived the transition to solids, we’ve seen him crawl and fall and soon he’ll be walking and we almost feel like real parents now.

It was an outbreak of biblical proportions! Even as my wife was saying the word ‘Chickenpox’, her tone spoke of the Plague or Bird Flu and my job was simple: rescue our 11 month old son from the incubator of disease we called Childcare!

In truth, one of the other kids had shown up with spots. But us first time parents panic about everything, so I excused myself from work and raced to save my boy. And I couldn’t go fast enough. I wanted a siren or flashing lights. I wanted to stick my head out the window and shout, “Come on people – out of the way! This is CHICKENPOX!”

As I scooped Theo into my arms – Daddy the Hero – his Carer asked me, “Have you ever had them?”

“Dunno,” I told her.

“Because it’s pretty serious for grown men. It can turn into shingles and cause impotence.” This did not make me feel better.

We sought advice, my wife and I. And here’s what we found out: