wife approval

Wife Approval Tip 4 – Use her cycle

No, no, no – not her bicycle, her menstrual cycle! For generations men have been suffering at the vicious hands of our lady-folk’s egg-dropping routine, but now it’s time to fight back and earn some Dadgets for our centuries of hardship.

The key to this tip is knowing your wife’s cycle, so I suggest investing in a pocket calendar or some clever iPhone application (search the app store for something like “How can I track when my wife is going to turn into a crazed lunatic each month”). Armed with this information, you’ll know the best time to bite.

Now you might expect my next piece of advice to be based on asking for Dadget-purchase authority when she is not in her monthly mood. In fact, I encourage you to do exactly the opposite. Whip out that huge list of elaborate and expensive Dadgets that you know she’ll never approve, and ask her at the worst possible time of the month. Not only will she say ‘No’ to each and every one of your suggestions, but she’ll also singe your eyebrows with the flames coming from her mouth.

Submitted by stefan on Tue, 02/06/2009 - 9:48pm

Wife Approval Tip 3 – Be a woman about it

Your wife thinks that layers of concrete and plasterboard actually magnify her voice, which is why she insists on talking to you when she is in a completely different room/floor/building to you. To compound the problem she then expects you to have absorbed and understood every last word of what she was banging on about, and she will test you on this at some random point over the next 7 years.

As annoying as this behaviour may be, it does open up a wonderful possibility for Dadget purchasing. When there is a Dadget that you simply must have, but you cannot apply any of my previous Wife Approval Tips, then you simply need to adopt the woman’s approach. In actual fact, don’t even go to the trouble of pretending to try to talk to them when you’re in a different room. How will they know?

"Look, honey – our new FreeSat HD+ box has finally arrived!"

Submitted by community on Sun, 15/03/2009 - 3:20pm